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Late Night Thoughts on Love
Nov. 28th, 2004 04:56 amInspired by this entry from the lovely and talented ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
one_woman_army.
Disclaimer: This is not preaching, or aimed at anyone in particular (since I know three of my ex-loves read this journal). It's just what I happen to be thinking on this quiet Saturday night (Sunday morning?) at work. Also, when I say "love" I'm talking about romantic love, not friendship or other variations.
Stuff I believe about love:
-- Love at first sight is possible for some people.
-- Love can be chased all you like, but the more you chase it, the more it will flee from you.
-- True love has to be two-way. No relationship can ultimately handle one person being a taker all the time. The overall balance has to average out.
-- Love can hurt like hell or be the sweetest thing on earth. Sometimes at the same time.
-- You can never say, or hear, "I love you" too many times.
-- If you have to ask if somebody loves you, that should be a warning sign.
-- Storybook loves can exist (and do, for some people).
-- Sex and love can be separate. Sex can be just fun between two people. If you're going to keep it casual, though, everybody involved had better agree to that up front, otherwise someone WILL get hurt.
-- Love cannot be bought or sold. No matter how fine the gifts.
-- Love cannot be forced. If you aren't feeling it, you can't make yourself feel it.
-- Lovers should not be keeping score. If you find yourself regularly saving up ammunition, or counting instances, or using conversations from weeks or months ago against your partner, there's trouble in paradise.
-- Addendum to last: It's a rare relationship that never has fights. The idea is to keep them few and far between.
-- Never, ever, go to bed angry at your love. Get whatever it is resolved.
-- Sometimes love just doesn't work. It can be a love that would light the stars themselves, but sometimes when things go wrong there's no way to fix them.
-- Conversely, any love that isn't worth fighting for isn't worth having in the first place.
Stuff I used to believe about love, but believe no longer: [and why I don't buy it anymore]
-- It's not possible to romantically love more than one person at a time. [Polyamory seems to work quite well for a lot of folk out there and I've had to readjust my thinking in this area.]
-- Love is an ideal. [Love is very fine, but it's not a perfect condition.]
-- Everyone has a perfect partner out there somewhere. All they have to do is find them. [This is too depressing to even contemplate; seems to me that if you blow it with that person, then you're screwed.]
-- The brightest flame burns the quickest; that is, the most intense relationships are always short. [I know some people whose relationship is as intense now as it was the day they first met.]
-- Love can solve all problems and overcome all obstacles. [Sometimes love is just not enough.]
-- Sex and love are always intertwined. [It's only recently that I've started believing they can be separate.]
-- Destiny can bring two people together. [I don't believe in fate or destiny anymore.]
And um...that's it for right now. Feeling a little disjointed so this may not make sense to anyone except me.
-- END OF LINE --
one_woman_army. Disclaimer: This is not preaching, or aimed at anyone in particular (since I know three of my ex-loves read this journal). It's just what I happen to be thinking on this quiet Saturday night (Sunday morning?) at work. Also, when I say "love" I'm talking about romantic love, not friendship or other variations.
Stuff I believe about love:
-- Love at first sight is possible for some people.
-- Love can be chased all you like, but the more you chase it, the more it will flee from you.
-- True love has to be two-way. No relationship can ultimately handle one person being a taker all the time. The overall balance has to average out.
-- Love can hurt like hell or be the sweetest thing on earth. Sometimes at the same time.
-- You can never say, or hear, "I love you" too many times.
-- If you have to ask if somebody loves you, that should be a warning sign.
-- Storybook loves can exist (and do, for some people).
-- Sex and love can be separate. Sex can be just fun between two people. If you're going to keep it casual, though, everybody involved had better agree to that up front, otherwise someone WILL get hurt.
-- Love cannot be bought or sold. No matter how fine the gifts.
-- Love cannot be forced. If you aren't feeling it, you can't make yourself feel it.
-- Lovers should not be keeping score. If you find yourself regularly saving up ammunition, or counting instances, or using conversations from weeks or months ago against your partner, there's trouble in paradise.
-- Addendum to last: It's a rare relationship that never has fights. The idea is to keep them few and far between.
-- Never, ever, go to bed angry at your love. Get whatever it is resolved.
-- Sometimes love just doesn't work. It can be a love that would light the stars themselves, but sometimes when things go wrong there's no way to fix them.
-- Conversely, any love that isn't worth fighting for isn't worth having in the first place.
Stuff I used to believe about love, but believe no longer: [and why I don't buy it anymore]
-- It's not possible to romantically love more than one person at a time. [Polyamory seems to work quite well for a lot of folk out there and I've had to readjust my thinking in this area.]
-- Love is an ideal. [Love is very fine, but it's not a perfect condition.]
-- Everyone has a perfect partner out there somewhere. All they have to do is find them. [This is too depressing to even contemplate; seems to me that if you blow it with that person, then you're screwed.]
-- The brightest flame burns the quickest; that is, the most intense relationships are always short. [I know some people whose relationship is as intense now as it was the day they first met.]
-- Love can solve all problems and overcome all obstacles. [Sometimes love is just not enough.]
-- Sex and love are always intertwined. [It's only recently that I've started believing they can be separate.]
-- Destiny can bring two people together. [I don't believe in fate or destiny anymore.]
And um...that's it for right now. Feeling a little disjointed so this may not make sense to anyone except me.
-- END OF LINE --