Fun at the Taco Mac

I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried, folks.

So I went to see eminor9th and the rest of RATL play at Taco Mac on Roswell Rd. tonight. The band put on their usual great set and I got to see a couple of good friends, which is always nice.

When my friends left, though (had to get up early tomorrow), it must have been pretty obvious that I was there by myself. (Insert ominous foreboding). A couple of songs into the next set, a fairly hot-looking girl came up next to me and started dancing to one of the songs. I watched with some interest but was utterly disinclined to join in, being more interested in the music than in dancing to it.

She didn't seem to like not having a partner, though, because she started dancing, well, in my direction, and finally took my hand and tried to pull me out of my chair. I resisted for a while, but decided a dance with a hot girl would be fun for a while. So I danced and jumped around with her to the beat of the music for a couple songs. I heard cheers from the onlookers and saw the band's photographer snapping a couple photos. It quickly became apparent that this girl was more than a little alcohol-assisted, as she kept rubbing against me and trying to get me to get closer to her (a couple times she actually put my hands on her ass or around her waist). Drunk, all right, I thought. Is she actually hitting on me or something?

I dismissed that as ridiculous, though, and sat back down after a couple of songs. She apparently wasn't happy with that, and leaned over to scream some things into my ear (which of course I couldn't hear because of the band -- all I could tell was that she was indeed pretty well plastered already because what little I did get was slurred). She gave me some mock-irritated looks when I threw up my hands, and disappeared for a while.

She reappeared a couple of songs later, though, and leaned over to yell in my ear again. "I need another Coors Light but I don't have any cash," she shouted.

"That's nice," I shouted back. "What do you want me to do about it?"

She looked upset and gave me a set of puppy-dog eyes. "Buy me one?" she shouted, with a look she apparently thought was winsome.

I could actually FEEL myself morphing, like Wile E. Coyote after the Roadrunner has enticed him to run off the edge of a cliff, into a big lollipop with the word SUCKER stamped in bright red letters on its label. I debated for a bit, then decided that the experience of having a hot girl come up and pull me up to dance with her was worth a couple bucks, and told the waitress to get her one, figuring that would be the end of it.

Still no. She got her beer, danced for a bit longer, giving me plenty of sidelong looks and attempting to draw my gaze, and then leaned back over to yell in my ear some more. I felt a kiss (what the fuck? I thought), and then she shouted "I want you to come up to the bar with me for a second, okay?"

Oh, boy. This should be fun. I dutifully got up to follow her to the bar, where she pointed to a guy sitting there. "This is Mike," she shouted. I shook Mike's hand briefly. "He knows a lot about music," she shouted, pointing at me. "Don't you?"

I guessed that was what passed for an introduction with her at this point. "Yeah, I know a fair amount," I yelled back. "So?"

Mike, if that was his name, looked nonplused. He leaned over to me. "Can I get you a drink?"

A red flag went up. Hot women (even if they are drunk) do not come up to me and ask me to dance. Total strangers do not offer to buy me drinks. A bit of paranoia kicked in and I wondered if there was something else going on here, and what this girl really wanted. I didn't think it was my fair white body, tantalizing as it is, and my patience with drunk strangers is approximately nil, so what did she want?

Me being who I am, I decided to find out during a break between songs. "Look, what do you want from me?" I inquired, bluntly. "I'm missing the band, and they're why I'm here in the first place."

She put on a look of mulish stubbornness and leaned over to slur into my ear again. "I just want you to meet everybody and have fun! Wanna introduce you to [she gestured vaguely] alla them!".

Uh huh. "Well, that's nice, but I'm going to go and watch the band now," I shouted (RATL having started playing again). "I said that was why I came here tonight." I turned to head back to my table.

She grabbed my arm and pulled me back around, and gave me a hangdog look. "What, you don't want to meet everybody? C'mon, have a couple drinks!"

Okay, I'd tried being nice. Maybe being nasty would get me somewhere. "You don't listen very well, do you? I said NO. I'm not drinking tonight and I don't want to dance any more. Leave me alone."

She recoiled as if she'd been slapped and gave me a venomous look. "Fine, be that way, then."

I went back to my seat and got back into the music again, and was permitted a little peace and quiet....but not for long. A couple songs later and she was dancing beside my chair again and trying once more to draw my gaze. She danced around behind my chair and suddenly she was pulling at my ponytail, yanking at the band that held it in place. Yanking hard. It hurt like a bastard.

I whipped round and snarled, "Get the fuck off me! Let go of my fucking hair, dammit!" In reply I got another wounded look and a "I wanna braid your hair!"

Jesus, Mary and Joseph. "I don't WANT my hair in a fucking braid. I like it the way it is. Now leave me the fuck alone, for chrissake! I bought you a beer and danced a couple times with you. Now piss OFF!"

That apparently drove it all the way home. She turned away without another word, then went back to dancing with the other girls who were up and rocking out to that particular tune. Left me blessedly alone after that.

I went to the restroom in between songs a bit later. When I came out, she was nowhere to be seen.

You know what the hell of it is? Unsolicited female attention is such a rarity for me that I was actually a little disappointed that she was gone. Despite the fact that she was drunk and had annoyed the hell out of me. Am I really THAT desperately in need of self-validation? Must do some thinking on that.

Oh well. I enjoyed the rest of RATL's set anyway. Always worth seeing them play.

-- END OF LINE --

Currently playing: Sarah McLachlan -- Fumbling Towards Ecstasy. Still her best album, in my opinion.